If you’ve been out of the loop, it’s No Masturbation May for me. Today I have finished eleven days – I started at the end of April to get into the mindset. One week into May, it’s time to evaluate and look whether I’m on track.
Emotional effects of not masturbating
I’ve been feeling saudade, but also pretty optimistic about what I do have and am right now.
I’m trying to right my wrongs;from Kanye West, “Touch the Sky”
But it’s funny them same wrongs helped me write this song.
It feels a long way to get where I want to be but I know that I’ll get there if I put my best foot forward. Not spending (a lot of – I still smoke) time doing things that hinder progress feels good when I hit the hay. Overall: trying to be content with what I have.
To stop with the abstractions:
- ‘Moving on‘ is a bit easier when dropping bad habits like they’re hot, it creates this feeling of a) doing something positive with yourself and b) a fresh start, a new chance. Moving on is not easy though.
- More confident in interactions with others (I’ve been noticing that my responses to yes-no questions are simply “yes/no”). There was one incident where a man stood in my zone and that unsettled me a bit, but that says more about him than it does about me.
Effects of not masturbating on decision-making and productivity
Overall: less impulsive. In April I had a lot of days where I needed to adjust to studying at home instead of in the library, days where I would just muck around and take walks instead of studying. Now when I get the thought of opening a book I just open one and start. I know that once I get sucked in to an activity, it’s easy – for me the hard part has always been to start.
I have decided I want to do more in the household, so I’ve been cooking dinner often and doing the dishes after. I kill two birds with one stone that way: I don’t hate doing these tasks and by not having to do them, my mother can focus on less menial tasks and more on playing Wordfeud with granddad. Just messing around mom, I can see you working in the garden.
Diet, energy, and NMM
It’s because of a study friend that last week I switched to a 20/4 intermittent fasting schedule. He told me that he eats between 4PM and 8PM, eats how much he wants as long as it is healthy. No counting of calories and macros.
I had learned of the concept long before but had never tried it. About a week ago I decided I’d join him, see what the effects are.
Effects and notes:
- Lost 0.5kg: a welcome change after gaining 2kg.
- In the beginning I had hunger pangs around noon, and was tempted to eat something. These have gone away after 3-4 days.
- Do know that I grub down on food when it’s time. I’m talking tuna omelette, regular dinner, 500ml of quark mixed with 4 pieces of fruit and honey, multiple packets of instant ramen. Nothing that I consider unhealthy though.
- It’s also easier to skip meat. Even though I don’t always skip it, I’ve been skipping it a lot more often. More vegetable burgers. I still consider fish and eggs okay, though. Need my protein from somewhere.
- Developed a newfound confusion when people say that they need to eat 3-6 times a day. In the back of my mind I see livestock, eating all day and doing not much more.
- I noticeably sleep better when 8PM is the latest time I eat. Before, I used to eat a little sum-sum at 10, 11, or even midnight. That made it hard to fall asleep and even harder to get out of bed. Maybe there is some truth in the Dutch ‘6PM is dinner time’ tradition. “Rust, reinheid en regelmaat.”
- During the day my energy is stable. Yes, I look forward to eating but having to digest food all day long is no longer a source of depleting energy and lightheadedness. I think this is an issue of both diet, cold showers and not masturbating.
- I’m drinking more water throughout the day, about three litres per day. It relieves hunger (amongst other benefits).
Until the next time.