How to Cultivate Your Confidence

Today, while drinking a cup of coffee with my classmates, they told me that they ‘liked my energy from the moment I met them’.

Well no shit, I’m inwardly zen as fuck. This is because I have a creative approach to life.

Creative people can be restless, they can be drug addicts – but when they’re sober and busy creating you can see the flow leading them. They are then confident because they are doing what they are good at.

“Mark, I want to be confident too. How do I become like you?”

I’ll tell you, young Padawan. I’ve got your back.

There are two steps to becoming confident.

The first one is: find something you want to be good at.

Don’t be led by the financial aspects of your new pursuit. If you’re good at something, even better, if you’re the best at something, you’ll find opportunities to make money anyway.

In the past, I’ve chosen art. I chose art because it was one of my best subjects in school, nobody else was doing it and I figured you could get girls with it. It worked. I made some cash, I made some people happy but after 10 years, I’m moving on.

Now, I’m choosing writing. I can do it from anywhere in the world, even from my mobile phone, and I can get a much wider audience than with art. I’m able to convey more meaning, and that’s what you need to make the world a better place.

So choose something that seems cool to you. Something you’ve always wanted to do. For example, my brother’s learning how to be a high-end waiter but he wanted to learn how to make cocktails.

He read a lot of books on the subject and now he’s volunteering at a high-class cocktail bar learning how to make Amaro Addicteds. While I’m not condoning drinking anymore, I’m proud of him for taking baby steps and specializing in something.

Step 2 is to put in the hours and practice.

You need to put in a lot of work before you’re good at something. Learn to love the struggle. It’s what separates the winners from the losers – it’s what separates those who become popular from those who give up and never achieve anything.

Do you want to play guitar? Practice. Do you want to talk Chinese? Practice. The answer to the question is always the same.

When you get better at what you do, confidence starts coming. You don’t need to think about every brushstroke. You don’t notice the blisters on your fingers from strumming guitar. Everything goes by itself. This is called FLOW. You’re calm. Confident and unmoving like a rock.

When you achieve flow lots of times, you’ll be able to channel it into your daily life. You’ll be able to answer insightfully in conversations with friends. You’ll know when to say what. You’ll be able to shut up when the situation requires it.

This is because you know that you are good at something. Nobody can take that away from you.

This is why people are willing to hand over their money to an expert. He’s confident because he knows he’s good at the thing he’s grown to love and has put in the work. People pay to see confidence. They pay because confidence is what’s missing in their lives.

You can be an expert, young Padawan. You can be the person people love to pay. You already knew what you had to do, but you needed me to tell you.

Don’t worry. I’ve got your back.

Yours truly,

– Mark Dumanon

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